It's as simple as Hell, Satan and Death

While this made the rounds a bit in the metalsphere, it's still quite a source of amusement.

Slayer



Metallica

The Finnish Manowar?

Teräsbetoni - with the song Orjatar. The band name is Finnish for "reinforced concrete" it's plenty metal and plenty cheesy. Castle, unplugged instruments, writhing oversexed women? Tick all 3 boxes. These dudes also have the tune "Taivas lyö tulta" which (according to Metal-Archives) was selected to be the Finnish national ice hockey team's goal song.

They're just an Earth cover band

Who sound better a 45 RPM (or at least with Attila Cshiar)