Before Tim's Time

I just zipped through reading the excellent Cardboard Gods  book. This is a must read even if you're not that into baseball. Josh Wilker's blend of stream-of-consciousness personal history and the backstory behind 1970's and 80's baseball cards (whether real or imagined) is amazing. Wilker's musings on the funny,  awkward  and just plain weird images from these cards inspired this post.

When I first saw photos of  Tim "The Freak" Lincecum, I first thought of his predecessers - Jackie Earl Haley from Bad News Bears (in the 1976 original version not the dodgy Billy Bob Thornton re-make) and 1975 Topps-era Ted Simmons.

Jackie Earl Haley's character Kelly is the team "bad ass", all motorcycle ridin', smokin' and authority defying. He continued on the same path in the cheesy but still good Breaking Training  in '77. In recent years Jackie Earl Haley's played Freddy Kruger and the burn out baskeballer, Dukes in the Will Farrel's excellent ABA tribute Semi-Pro.

What can we gather from Ted Simmons? He wasn't into smoking the green and it's probably just the sun hitting his eyes on this non-descript angular stadium which may or may not be the Cardinals Busch Stadium. Even if it is just the sun, his heavy worn-yet game ready eyes, the guy-in-the-front-row at Grand Funk hair & sideburns just make you wanna ask him "hey dude, wasn't catching Bob Gibson's fastball like, hella intense?"

The similarities continue...

Japanese for awesome

Unfortunately this Japanese translation of pro wrestling legends The Road Warriors isn't imbeddable but check it out, here

Metalspoitation Part 3: "Devil Worship Will Continue After These Messages"

Maximum Rock N' Roll's movie columnist in the early 90's, Jerod Pore came up with the term "Punxsploitation". OK, maybe he didn't coin it but it was the first time I had heard of it. In his column he discussed the mainstream media's take on punk rock and hardcore ranging from the most infamous Quincy episode to lesser known examples from the likes of Morton Downey Jr. interviewing (among others) Joey Ramone among others. Before Ice Cube and 2 Live Crew sent shivers through white suburbia, Punk and Metal were public enemy #1.

This is from 1988. Clearly the "satanic" and "demonic metal" phenomenon had to be confronted by the one, the only...Geraldo.


Even though King Diamond was pretty much a unknown name outside the metal scene, here he got some coverage. Which as an 18 year old I thought was pretty fuggin' rad. "To some it's just rock n' roll rebellion" Totally, dewd! Last King Diamond show I saw in 2003 he wished us in the crowd "Happy Halloween" AND "Merry Christmas". Yes, he is an actual, praying satanist but he knows how to show 'ya a good to time, too.

Typical of this early version of "tabloid TV", Geraldo interviews murderers who follow someone called "satan"and cops who believe the "satanic threat" as real.


These horror movie like descriptions are less to do with "satanism" and more to do with some seriously damaged individuals both the criminals and the media who salivate over big ratings. I'd love to see a list of major crimes done "in the name of satan" vs. "in the name of god". I suspect the G-man is gonna beat 'Ol Scratch by a 10:1 ratio. Finally, how come there's something called "Satanic Ritual Abuse" but not "Christian Propaganda Abuse?" or "Islamic Doctrine Abuse"?