Best lyrics of the year?

“Mascot War” by Boston thrashers Lich King

“One day there was a mascot war, the body count was large
Metal vs. cereal, and Eddie led the charge
Toucan Sam was kneecapped and his beak was smashed apart
When Murray clubbed him in the face and then ripped out his heart

Tony didn't feel so great when Wrex opened his head
With some friendly violent fun that stupid tiger fuck was dead
Not manned up and with a punch proceded to lay waste
Planted a fistful of metal right in Wendell's smarmy face

Silly Rabbit didn't look, was in for quite a shock
When Vic Rattlehead came from behind and brained him with a rock
Snaggletooth impaled Booberry on his piggy tusks
And then roasted him, his breath turning the undead fiend to dust

It's a mascot war

Grim Reaper jumped his motorcycle through a church window
There he found the Corn Flake Rooster, killed him with a solid blow
Jack-O-Lantern took one of the seven keys, said "die,"
And then Lucky, that poor bastard got it crammed into his eye

Honey Bee and Chaley battled high above the ground
With a hammer of his head the winged skull, he won the round
Flotzilla towered high above the battle, with a chop
It was doomsday for deceivers known as Snap, Crackle and Pop

Count Chocula, a wooden stake inside his heart, was slain
It was placed there with no mercy by bloodthirsty Baphomet
Cap'n Crunch was stomped upon and then his head was pissed
Because Sargent D was coming and he was on his list

There's too much at stake tonight
Metal mascots take the throne
Diggum's skull is gleaming white
and Frankenberry dies alone
Frankenberry dies alone
Frankenberry dies alone
Mascot war

Breakfasttime your time is up
Show the Honeycomb thing no fear
Hold fast and stand your ground
Our time is now, our moment's here”

Danish Cartoon Controversy (or Twisted Minds Think Alike)

First there was this from my zine "Stoner Wall" in Fall 1998



Then today I found this:



I dunno when this guy Rob from Denmark made this cartoon but I think we were on the same page, so to speak. Controversy? Nah, more like coincidence. Rob's site didn't have his "about" section active so I have no idea about him aside from being a random guy in Danmark who likes hard rock & metal and makes cartoons. My Danish isn't good enough to figure out much else. But this is really awesome regardless.

Deep Purple (Mark II) - Bombed out epic jams

Messrs Blackmore, Glover Lord & Paice play a half-hour long version of "Mandrake Root" bombed out of their skulls. Ian Gillan does the very stoned & giggly intro. Audio via >WFMU's wonderful "Beware of the Blog" and DP's Live In Aachen, Germany 10th July 1970 This version is only half of the entire thing. I might be daring enough to play the whole thing on KZSU someday.

Led fuckin' Zeppelin could never pull this off - their strength was the rhythm section whereas Deep Purple was a BAND. Dare I say Purple was heavier and much more intense? Beyond "Smoke on the Water" and maaaybe "Highway Star" they're pretty much unknown on American radio. They were giants in Japan & Scandinavia but they sure as hell weren't a "two song wonder" like say Foghat or some drek. Unlike Zeppelin they rarely had that "bloated" feeling which isn't so much Zeppelin's fault as it is the dumb-ass hardcore fans and the coke-addled marketing machine that's behind their legacy. You wanna take this up some more? Meet me after school - by the bike racks. The bike racks!