The news as written by death metal bands

Same day, same paper, and even on the same page.

Professing Metal to The Masses (or 5 dudes from Stanford)

BEFORE?

Wagner Lamounier ex-guitarist/vocalist of Sepultura & Sarcófago during the 1980s. Currently a professor of economic science at Universidade Federal de Minas Gerais in Belo Horizonte, Brazil.

A few weeks ago I did a radio special on KZSU which was a sort of "audio history lesson" on Heavy Metal. I was really suprised at a few things. Namely, the guys were really into virtually every song I played from Crazy World Of Arthur Brown in 1968 to Metal Church in 1984. A few things I've noticed in doing these sort of "History" specials:

- Cut things off at 1984. It grows exponentially insane at this point. 1984-86 the initial impact of Thrash, Speed, Black and Death Metal begin though all used interchangeably.
- Big, bloated bands like AC/DC, KISS, Led Zeppelin don't need to even need to be mentioned much less played.
- Blue Oyster Cult isn't Heavy Metal and only occasionally Hard Rock. The 1970's definition of Heavy Metal hasn't held up since 1979. I mean Foreigner, Journey and Bad Co. aren't Metal what so ever. (Not unlike people thinking AC/DC or Elvis Costello were "punk" around the same time). They have a few moments here & there but up against Black Sabbath, Judas Priest or Thin Lizzy fuggit about it!

Some interesting things my students brought up:

Q: Would people have called UFO "Metal" in 1979? A: Hard to say, the term was around then but it was a bit hazy. See above on the 70's definition of Heavy Metal. Yet there was a burgeoning (albeit virtually unknown in the U.S.) New Wave of British Heavy Metal in the UK. The music media in the U.S. was all about disco or anti-disco rockers like Ted Nugent.

Q: Thin Lizzy's singer was a black guy? A: Yes. Black & Irish in fact.

Also:
- Sabbath/Priest/Maiden = Son, Father & Holy Ghost (not sure on the order tho')
- They loooove to headbang in the Outer A studio to 'Priest, Motorhead & the like.
- Two of my students said despite the dark themes it's very jubilant and melodic (or at least the '68-'84 era).
- Where does double bass drumming come in? I answered that it was from Motorhead (and forgot to mention things like the faster or complex 'Priest/'Maiden songs ex: "Rapid Fire" and "Rime of the Ancient Mariner") and hardcore punk like Discharge which had an impact on Metallica, Anthrax and Bathory.
- Another student wanted to heard Metal Church and was gave me a dead on description of David Wayne's "screaming banshee" vocals.
- Motorhead's "Overkill" has 3 false endings if not more on the "No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith" version.

See "the kids" aren't just into that sideways haircut, faux-indie bullshit. There IS hope for the kids...at least these 5.

AFTER?

"Wagner" in his "Satanic Lust" days.

The Zen of Metal

I don't know too much about Zen but I know it deals with a state of "to be" and not worrying about petty shit and crazy expectations. So, with that, I have a very Zen-like Metalic last 24 hours.

Last night at KZSU, I'm intro by the previous DJ as being "KZSU's resident Heavy Metal King". While I played about 15% metal and the rest punk/hardcore and then Einstrüzende Neubauten and some moody number by Slim Cessna's Autoclub. HERE's playlist from list night's show. Following me was long-time DJ Big Chief. Chief started with Michael Schenker Group's "Armed & Ready" arguably one of the best ever early 80's hard rockin' metal tracks. The rest of his show reads like one of my high school mixtapes:

Iron Maiden - Rime Of The Ancient Mariner ("The albatross falls from his neck!")
Judas Priest - Victim of Changes ("You've beeen foool-in' ar-rrround with some...hot guy..." Fill homoerotic reference here)
Rainbow - "Man on the Silver Mountain" (from "On Stage") I heard this a zillion times at my Dio (and later Grateful Dead) worshippin' friend Darren's place.
Queensryche - "The Lady Wore Black"
Metal Church - "Beyond The Black" ("Will WE make it back...?")
Exodus - "Deleiver Us To Evil"
Slayer Hell Awaits - And I STILL can't sing all the words without a lyric sheet. ("Angels still dying by the the sword...!")
Megadeth - "Good Morning/Black Friday" ("Paint the Devil on the wall!")
Saxon - Crusader ("The battle, the battle lies far to the Eeeast!")
Angel Witch - Witch Witch ("Burrrrn the whiiiite wiiiitch!")

If that weren't enough today was record & book sellin' day in Berkeley. First stop was Moe's Books where I picked up a copy of "Vegan With A Venegance" by the awesome Isa Chandra Moskowitz Naturally, I couldn't stop from putting the title of the book to the 'Priest song "Screaming For Venegance". Then it was on to Amoeba where after a lil Stevie Wonder - someone threw on the Probot album.

Granted, I only half liked this album but the spirit of it was apt. My name was called to pick up my trade amount right when Lemmy's song came on. Lemmy & $75 in Amoeba trade = awesome!
Following that and food at Smart Alex plus an ill-fated trip to Comic Relief (I forgot they moved, waay duuumb!) I trudged up to Rasputin's and sure enough first song I hear: 'Priest's "Victim of Changes". And not just that song but the ENTIRE "Sad Wings of Destiny" album followed by "Highway Star" by Deep Purple. Fuck Yesss! One of the employees said to her co-worker "I'm glad we're not listening to that 'I'm so saad' music ("like emo")- we're listening to something that really rocks and has power'. I said 'oh yeah, this is some of the most kick ass stuff ever made'. She giggled a little but she agreed & actually was really feeling the power of thee 'Priest and Purple. I swear I'll never get sick of that freakin' solo in "Highway Star". When I was checking out one of the cashiers was tryiing to sing "I love her, I need her!" from "Highway Star".

Are You Damned In Hell?

"Satan Sitting...And He's Smiling" - Black Sabbath
"Satan Watches All Of Us, Smiles As Some Do His Bidding" - Slayer
"Now, Hail Satan! Yes, Hail Satan" - Mercyful Fate
"Satan Records Our Best Note" - Venom

While teaching/hosting KZSU's recent Metal S'Heshin (A History of Heavy Metal - 1968-85) one of my students asked me if I believed in Satan. My answer was "no" but I had also said that it's interesting yet highly outdated concept. What I forgot to mention is why I've come to that specific conclusion. On one hand, a guy with a pitchfork, horns on his his head and a tail isn't very threatening. (Well, maybe if he's 40 feet tall but let's keep things in perspective). However, living in a concentration camp sure as hell is. Having your relatives blow up by terrorists is. Having your kids taken away from you and drafted into a senseless war sure is. Living under a dictator is.
All these examples are pure hell.

More to the topic of this blog, I've seen far too many album covers, seen too many horror movies, read too many "satan-o-spoiltation" books and seen too many "satanic panic" topics on talk shows to ever believe in an all-encompassing "evil one". Having said that, my teen years were much different mindset. I experimented with the idea of Christianity. That is, I read the Bible or at least all of the references I found from my albums: Revelations in particular because it's so focused on the apocalypse and living "in the shadow of atomic fea-ah" (as Discharge would say) it made sense. Plus, I read bits of Exodus (still not as good reading as "Bonded By Blood"), Genesis (which still makes NO sense to me) and some random Proverbs. I went to church with my mom a few sporatic times. This was a pretty inclusive, liberal Presbyterian church in Pleasanton. They were pretty harmless. Boring but mostly harmless. My friend at the time, Danny on the other hand was a born again Christian. Who's like every other Born Again I would know, was a major hypocrite. In fact Danny was just like a certain Alferd E. Newman lookalike we all know and loathe There's an entire write up in the old print version of "Stoner Wall" but the snapshot is:

- Born Again Christian and Grandson of an Arkansas preacher
- Told me multiple times that I was "going to hell" for not knowing things in the Bible. I mean, not just saying it but threatingly saying it. That warped my 7 year old mind and pissed off my parents (who instantly hated him).
- His sister was friends with my high school's only real "mod" (and one of at least 4 not yet out of the closet gay guys)
- Had odd ideas about "devil rock" Rush, Blue Oyster Cult, Van Halen were OK but NOT: Iron Maiden, Ozzy/Black Sabbath, Dio, Slayer, et. al.
- Said he was never, ever gonna take drugs yet I got high plenty of times with him in '86 and the last time at the Metallica/Ozzy show @ The Cow Palace (June, 1986)
- His house had a big 'ol bloody Jesus nailed to a crucifix in the hallway - so obvious that they put it in the line of the door. So anytime they opened the door - it's "Hey you non-believing asshole - look what your sins did to me! It's ALL your fault! Now worship me you sorry bastard!"
- I later drove around Foothill Road (creepy, narrow road near our High School that went out into Sunol and more serene environs) with him, my friend Steve & Darren whilst listening to King Diamond while he was egged on by Steve in wanting to experience the urban legend of the "the white witch of Niles (Canyon), dood!"
- During his senior year in high school he came back from a weekend of "taking sooo much acid at the 'Dead show".
- While he hated "queers" and "niggers" yet seemed OK about his sister listening to Culture Club and also he his favorite athlete was Tony Dorsett and his favorite comedians were Bill Cosby and Eddie Murphy. Yep, just like that scene in "Do The Right Thing".
- He later told me that he thought "backwards masking was bullshit". So, for a short time there was a glimmer of hope albeit one still stained by his hypocritical gay bashing & racism.

My friend Chad was a counter-balance to Danny. He actually had a copy of "The Satanic Bible" AND "The Necromonicon" yet he believed in neither that or not much of Christianity either. He just had a facination with the occult and "the underworld". Since I wasn't much of a 'joiner' to these things I was certainly open to reading about it. "The Satanic Bible" was a bit of a hoot, I later understood LaVey's cyncism a bit better in college. Amusing but silly at times. The Necromoicon was something else. Albeit fantasy, myth or (if you believe the "Evil Dead") real? it was something evil yet beyond mere "satan" and "god". This was about the Ancient Ones and some bizarre life forces from thousands of years ago with crazy names like Yug-Soggoth. Sounds more evil that Lucifer.

Sometime in the spring of '85 I found a 4" crucifix in my backyard. I have no idea where it came from but I promptly hammered it up-upside down that is above my door. Admittedly it creeped me out and so the upside down position stayed for only 6 days. Hence my belief then in god, Jesus AND Satan seemed to all balance things out. So I flipped it to the "normal" position of toes downside Jesus. The Gideons (yes they actually exist) gave out Bibles at my school and I read more of Genesis and some stuff about Noah and the flood. (more impossibilities). The orange pocket bible had some intro page with an American flag on it. Which in my initial punk/"fuck the government" years I drew flames over then immediately ripped apart. I don't regret that decision.

In later years (1996 to be exact) I carried on a great tradition started by my Uncle. I was staying at a hotel in Austin, TX and found a Bible. In the first blank page I wrote "Best Wishes, The Authors" and also threw in "P.S. - It's all made up!" I think David Cross had it dead on when he said that the Bible was the funniest book ever written. Since really there is so many improbabilities such as the "loving god" hating Sodomities yet letting Lot procreate with his daughters?!? I suppose I don't need to list the litany of hypocrisy's of that book as there's plenty out there doing it for me.

Getting back to Satan, it wasn't only music that drew me to checking out the darkside. Comic books like Eerie, Creepy and even Ghost Rider warped my young mind. Around 1984, I took a road trip to Santa Cruz with my mom & her then boyfriend, Bob. One of the main stops was the Bookshop Santa Cruz. This was back when it had that real "homey" feel to it: wood panelling, windows that hadn't been washed in months, the occasional cobweb (or 5) and the bookstore cat. (Always a good sign). I looked through the sci-fi and horror section for a bit until a book popped out at me. It was Piers Anthony's "Faith of Tarot" which was part 3 of his "Tarot Sequence". Something about a Reverend named Brother Paul. I flipped through a few pages until I got to the vivid descriptions of hell. The sentence "shit in the mouth of God!" was in there somewhere and based on that and uh...this:

I knew I HAD to have this book. My mom didn't balk (always one to encourage reading, he-he!). Now I just eat satan er...seitan instead of being spooked by him.

Transilvanian Hunger wasn't about processed chicken parts

Who do I blame for this?

Admittedly it's sort of funny but soooo many kinds of wrong. It's even worse than the "Black Metal fashion" event they had last year in France.

I haven’t had KFC since 1995. The only things I really liked about them as a kid was:
1) It was a lot of food and would last a long time
2) If my mom got a big bucket of it, I would use the bucket for some indoor b-ball action. Then I would throw on the radio playing Van Halen or Uriah Heep’s “On The Rebound” and get all Larry Bird sinking (and missing) 3's and trying to dunk like Darryl Dawkins.
Although, their mashed potatoes and gravy always tasted like someone had ashed out their cigarettes in it. How sick and grim.

I know some of you might say the genre of Black Metal itself might be to blame for this overwrought and "silly" imagery. While, there still are plenty of "war paint/corpse painted" bands around (ever search Metal Archives?) but really this kind of stuff was an old joke in Norway over 10 years ago and the 'net at least 6 years ago. Even Metalocalypse's has practically run this kind of humor into the ground. Sorry, but I've been joking about metal since 1984 but I also LISTEN to it. Big difference. Grrr...I've been listening to Darkthrone all night, so this might've had an effect on this entry.

Not As Cool As Ghoul

I'm not big on fashion but THIS is getting redgoddamndickolous!

io9 blog reports on the bizarre Mad Max-ish post-apocalyptic zombie designs by John Galliano at Paris' glamoparty thing - "Ready To Wear". A commentator on i09's entry nailed it by deeming these beyond the grave inspirations as "Ready To Gwar" fashion. Granted these looks do have a bit of Balsac and a hint of Slymenstra Hymen Although, the undead model in the first image goes even further than that. He's a leather-headed member of Ghoul, for gore's sake!

"Clad in shirts of mesh and with mascara on their eyes
We saw a keyboard player and we knew they had to die."
- Ghoul, "Forbidden Crypts"

When Joey met Lemmy

Two legends of rock and fuckin' roll together having fun and pissing off Dave Kendall & his overlords at MTV. Lemmy gets a very short description of "crossover" probably the only time that was ever mentioned on their airwaves. This is from about 1988 or '89. I saw a lot of the Ramones on MTV circa: '89 on the News and on 120 Minutes. Y'know back when Empty Vee played something called MUSIC?


"Oh that wuz pathET-eek!
I SAID this sONgz fa Joey and Dee Dee Ra-mooone!"

-- Lemmy, Shoreline Ampitheatre, Mountain View August, 2003.