Thursday, May 5, 2011

Great Goats Goring on Grass for the Government? Or how my day went

Today was odd but plenty interesting. I had not only a job interview my former hometown of Pleasanton. This is the town that inspired for my old and soon to be sequeled zine, Stoner Wall. Though, today's trip was very Eric B. & Rakim - Strictly Business.
I had a job interview in Hacienda Business Park, an area I knew all too well. My family and I first knew it as the cow fields that were the background to the Denny's- which along with the 7-11 both on Hopyard Rd. still exists! Said Sevvy was the on that many a weed deal was made and also the place where I first heard Destruction's "Bestial Invasion". Since I got over there early, I went around the block to a section which I didn't recognize. Although other places while refurbished/painted and (over)developed were quickly becoming familiar. I can still take a quick look around the crux of Hopyard and it's environs and say "that's where I got high with Reid, that's the business park where I got drunk with Darren, and that's the concrete where Chad & I spray painted Slayer". The Lucky's store on Hopyard/West Los Positas also remains. This was where my Ozzy/W.A.S.P./Slayer worshipping friend, Steve worked at for over a decade.

Anyway, I went around block to kackin' Starbucks (yeah, YOU try to finding something decent in strip-mall overkill at 9am) all in my business clothes as I waited for my tea while some goofy Hot Topic looking Batista kids took orders from a cluster of people including one woman who I wondered if I had went to school with.

On top of this stale environment we were blasted with the latest Joss Stone/Sheryl Crow/whoever thee fuck makes the rest of this of the wave nauseating MOR tunes that fit perfectly with the "blandness eternal" motto of Starbucks (and CVS, Trader Joe's, and Whole Foods for that matter).  Mercifully there was a seat outside and there was only one way I could resolve this problem of  "horrible music in a familiar but even worse visual environment than I came from". A simple click the iPod and viola:

"Screams-dreams!" (Lalonde's guitar says: *Bhew-whip!*)

(*going over my resume *) "OK, let's tell her that I worked over here, did these responsibilities that fit in with this part. Then I'll tell her this transitions well with that requirement and..."

(*MEGA PUNISHING RIFF*)
"Demons dog domain
Keeping me insane
Evil curse my soul
Burning awaaaaaay-ahhhrrr!
...The Exorciiiiisttt!
(*TONS OF DRONING PROTO-BLACK HORNETS NEST GUITARS*)

Even feeling overly hot (near 90 today in now overcrowded oven known as the Tri-Valley- don't miss that!) and in a not-too comfy tie, dress shirt sitting at an outside table at again the green and white corporate beast - the riffs kicked in, my fist was clenched and as Amebix would say - the power remains! The power from many moons ago - that came from blasting this same album on Steve's Panasonic jam box down the streets of Val Vista that well, possessed us to bark out emulations of Jeff Beccara the rest of the Pinoleian Death Metal kings. But yeah, I'm all business maaaan!

Oh, gotta go to the interview...
The interview went well - but was weird know that the interview went over every possible detail for my job. Odd considering it's a scant 2 month gig. Since I also had an appointment with the agency that set me up with this company - I had to jam up to their office ever further up to Walnut Creek. Thankfully, Candlemass' "Tales of Creation" and leftover, surprisingly well-done chai tea kept me company.

Walnut Creek or at least their downtown looks like Palo Alto's downtown on steroids. A clusterfuck of a mall,  mixed with tightly packed office spaces, horribly configured parking lots, chocked with traffic on all sides. Along with a bunch of other chainstores/upscale restaurants/bistros with "artistian" fucking everything.
Speaking of chains at least local interesting ones from the past - I spotted a Kapser's Hot Dogs around the corner from the office. I didn't bother eating there but 15 year old me would've been there in a flash. 21st century me - didn't think that there would be franknveggiefurters. At the office, I did some generic paper work but the two women I worked with there were really accommodating and down to earth - not drones like so many others.

Part of me wanted to stop and do more research/archeology for Stoner Wall but I was a little pressed for time and not knowing the area these days, feared the worse for any traffic going south after 3pm. So, I bolted back home took care of a few other job things and ate a bunch of cheese.

After finishing stuff in one of my online classes (this one was Intro to Tech Writing), I went out for a bike ride at somewhat prog rock length of around 4 miles at Shoreline Park. I found a new detour to the left side of the wooden bridge. This detour looked from the distance a narrow path that twisted and turned towards NASA and the Air National Guard facilities on one side and a looked like it had a possible path going all the way out to the other side of the bay to Milpitas. Unfortunately, the only the first part is true. The route to Milpitas is cut off by fences but on second thought it makes sense as it's the continuation of the wildlife preserve. The bird population isn't just the usual ducks and seagulls (though they can amuse and interest me as well) but also egrets, non-mallard ducks, terns, red-winged blackbirds, pelicans - who thankfully are the non-boring riff  kind.

I kept wondering "how long does this path go on?!" while some knob-end from Google blazed by me - missing hitting me by a mere 5 inches. Regardless, I rode on looking at some military plane and plane & blimp hangars as well as an RV lot?

Yep. Top secret, too I'd guess. As said before, I didn't find a path across the bay but shortly after seeing a jack rabbit pass from about 40 ft. away - I spotted something baffling. Goats! Gorging on grass and on government territory near a golf course (where some annoying looking yupster-military mix dudes were playing a few holes. Remember: only miniature golf is REAL!). It looks like NASA or the Air National Guard at Moffett Field had hired them to clear some brush along side the golf course. I'd thought that maybe there was a team of them at one point and the others got laid off due to budget cuts. I dunno - but I do wish I had heard Mercyful Fate once I spotted them. I think it was Burning Saviours "Spread Your Wings" that came on instead - which would of been fine when I was photographing birds! Smartphone, my ass!
Whoa-holllld the bus!...Is that what I think it is?  
Goats on government property, even!? Crazy that.
The one on the left just caught on to what I'm up to and will be filing a report with the CIA.

On the way back a live version of Mercyful Fate's "Evil" kept me pedaling around but not until I saw another egret and got a pic of him.

Also on the Mercyful Fate tip, was spotting a ruined bridge (as in the place you're supposed to wait for the master. Well, that yeah that happens "later on" but "Come to the Sabbath", already!)
Back on the bike and Swans' "Will We Survive" came on in a near triumphant moment of going away from this new founded twisty path and back onto the familiar 2nd bridge area overlooking the reed filled banks of Stevens Creek.  Then it was back to "on your left" and "on your right" to the random bikers, walkers & joggers on the path home.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Never mind the Royals - Here's Filthy, Rich and Catflap

Oh yeah, those 2 money draining, mass distracting, "what education/economic crisis?" idiots are getting married tomorrow. But fuck all that - here's something REALLY important and worth your time from the UK - Filthy, Rich and Catflap. This fine show is from 1986 and features 3 of the 4 stars from the legendary  (NOT a term I throw around easily) BBC show "The Young Ones" -  Nigel Planner is the stumbling alcoholic showbiz agent "Ralph Filthy",  Rik Mayall's the completely mental and egotistical "Ritchie Rich" along with his roommate and often drunk minder - Adrian Edmonson as "Eddie Catflap".

Instead of the rigors of student life, vampire landlords and Motörhead cameos we have the tales of consistent failure in attempting to break into the entertainment industry. The show maintains some of the same elements that made the "The Young Ones" so classic. Namely, jokes that range from the silly to observations on fame and the media to funny word play. The latter is used mostly by Richie who say "I'm not gonna go to pris(on)", "the crits (critics) will slaughter me!" Similar to The Simpsons it has gags going on in the background. One of which appears in episode five where Richie and Catflap go out to clubs & eateries named "Stringos", "Hippos", and "Lampos" before a final 3am  gorging on Papadum-os.

A lot of the commentaries and jokes are based around British b-level celebrities from the past such as the oft-referenced Jimmy Tarby" Tarbuck who was comparable to maybe Merv Griffin. Also mentioned/referenced are game shows such as "Blankety Blank" and "Celebrity Squares" which were UK parallel shows (not directly related, mind) to America's "Match Game" and "Hollywood Squares".

One of my favorites is in the game show parodies is Richie's guest appearance on the hilariously titled show "Ooer Sounds A Bit Rude". Unlike the Young Ones' direct parody of a real show "University Challenge" (from the same titled episode) this twists the game show from a happy, joyful setting to a place focused on shouting directors going off on camera ops (a thing I know a bit about having worked on a TV news programme) along with the general fakeness of the talent which quickly gives way to utter chaos. Another treat is the visuals on the show - the loud 1970s colors in the "Ooer" scene is only a mild exaggeration of the things worn by Charles Nelson Reily on Match Game or Charo on Hollywood Squares.

Another part of "F, R and C"'s charm is the random bits of slang and language. In one scene Richie is shocked and exclaims "Wot in the name of Satan's Porsche?!" Satan's Porsche woud''ve made a great Butthole Surfers song. A few more of my favorite lines involves a scene with a series of milkman murders. "This is the most milkman shaped stork I've ever seen." Other parts that should give you a few larfs is the lawyer named "Pervy Spurty", and what to do with dead milkman, and why one "little drinky" won't help you sleep.

Along with the entertainment industry, the art world also gets a great send up in the 2nd episode which features the fantastic comedy duo of Steven Fry and Hugh Laurie as Catflap's French patrons. This parody deals brillantly with the whole "what is art?" question and seemingly predicts the forthcoming nonsense of  Damien Hirst and Neckface.


It would be interesting if the show were on now as it could easily play off the contemporary TV show formats of "reality", unfunny "ironic/post-modern" sitcoms and the entertainment shows that report on other entertainment shows so uh, people can be "entertained" or the talk shows that invite other talk show hosts that go into the never-ending cultural-socio abyss. Now I need to watch a bunch of "Bottom" -  the next main venture from Mayall and Edmonson from (1991-95).

Refs:
http://www.screenonline.org.uk/tv/id/537898/

http://www.noisetosignal.org/2008/08/filthy-rich-and-catflap

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Fun with YouTube

As you know YouTube can give you weird random selections/suggestions when you're searching for oh, say French Death Metal from 1996:


Or let's say you were looking for other Death Metal related stuff such as this early, overlooked Swedish stuff band, Exempt. It tells you to check out Three 6 Mafia. OK, maybe 'cause they're name is really 666 but musically totally, different head totally. That said, I wonder if Gangsta Boo is down with slithery, downtuned Morbid Angel meets early Unleashed style DM with a hankering for hammer-ons/pull-offs?

Another unintended random barrel o' laughs was this top suggestion I got whilst going through the band who's name can't-be-pronounced-unless-done-with-a-raspy-kackle, Baxaxaxa.

Lastly, I wanted to note that I had a great experience with the previously mentioned band Asgard. I played them a few times on my old show on KZSU, "Bloodstains Across Atherton" and about a year later my friend who was then the Metal Director got an e-mail from Xavier's Asgard's bassist, which was really cool. Makes up for all the times that I thought no one was listening or gave a shit.