Coolest/Weirdest Things I’ve Seen At Shows

1. Sept 8, 2001 - “The Groovemaster” moving through the crowd outside after Creation Is Crucifixion/Kalmex & The Riffmerchants/Critical Art Ensemble show @ AK Press. “Excuse me but can the Groovemaster please get though...the group of us parted like the Red Sea and the Master of all things Groove put on his “jam box” to some killer (and yes, groovy!) jazz-funk! That man is a legend in my mind. He should be the mayor of Oakland - “One City Under A Groove”! 


2. A weird wizard looking guy with big Santa Claus-ish bag @ ‘Maiden 1985 AND Ozzy 1986 at the Cow Palace shows – supposedly he was a HUGE acid dealer in the 80’s.


3. Legions of heshers throwing beer bottles in line during Iron Maiden/Twisted Sister show @ Cow Palace March 21, 1985. The heshers (& I) were behind a steel railing and throwing bottles – attempting to make it into a garbage can that was approx. 30 feet away. After about 40-45 tries one lucky guy sunk the shot with no, “backboard” or anything – just a perfect shot like a Larry Bird 3 pointer. The crowd errupted with a bunch of “Fuck Yeaaaaahs”! and “Wooooos!” The cops stopped it immediately after. Man, just like Dio said it was like broken glass you got caught before you see it. 


4. David Yow nearly landing on me and a lame ass stage diver falling on me during Therapy’s set when they were opening for Jesus Lizard/Helmet show @ Warfield April ‘93.


5. Earlier at the same show, I was interviewing the band Therapy? And hearing Helmet play BOC’s “Cities Of Flame (With Rock N’ Roll)” during soundcheck. Still regretting not taping that & bootleggin’ it.


6. Seeing and pushing back into the pit - a mosh-tress - a fully moshable/stage-dive-uponable matress at 924 Gilman circa: 2005 during Vitamin X. 


7. Seeing a giant vat of Capt’n Crunch Crunchberries backstage @ One Step Beyond in Feb ‘93 while interviewing the Melvins


8. The band Abstain playing under 1-2 small red lights giving them the look of the insert photos from Celtic Frost's Morbid Tales LP while me & another guy calling out names of pro wrestlers in between every song. 924 Gilman, January 1998


9. Some lame guy whining to Buzz from the Melvins near the end of their set @ One Step Beyond. “C’mmmoooonn! King Buzchzzzooo....We-REACH...C’mooonnn! We-Reach!” The curtain closing and then-bassist & known junkie, Lori saying “Stoo-pid!”


10. Poison Idea’s Jerry A breaking a tooth and cutting off their set. July ‘97 Bottom of the Hill


11. Every Slobber show – grass throwing, annoyed college students trying to study outdoors on Friday night, grass throwing, 40 oz. of root beer drinking, clown suits, cardboard John Wayne, rubber corpses, 


12. Having my ticket nearly melt in my hands while in line for Ratt/Fastway/Mama’s Boys, San Jose Civic, July 1984


13. A guy in a yeti suit moshing to Connoisseur in August 2011 at Gilman

14. Ditching my friend Steve’s jam box in the bushes while he & I thought about going to see local fluff rockers Air Raid, Pleasanton Civic Center, March, 1985.


15. A pool of blood and stale beer oozing on top of a ledge @ the Uptown in Minneapolis, 1993 after the Dumpster Juice show. 


16. Adam Vomit of The Toilet Boys clocking some dopey bro-down with his bass at the Cactus Club, San Jose 1998. 


17. A guy in an Oakland A's lucha libre mask moshing at 924 Gilman St., 2004. 


18. Some idiot turning on the fire prevention sprinklers @ One Step Beyond, Santa Clara, CA 1992 – Melvins show.


19. Watching cop car after cop car pass by on way back to Disposable Heroes of Hip-Hoprisy show April 1992, San Jose, CA only a day after the LA Riots began


20. Being called “Lil Lemmy” after talking to a girl after a High On Fire show in S.F. who had a   Motörhead patch on her jacket. Funny thing is I look nothing like Mr. Kilmeister but whatever, I'll take it as a compliment. 


21. Sleep playing an early version of Jerusalem while they opened for Hawkwind. A friend of mine went out to play 3 games of pool at the start of the song, came back and they were still playing. San Jose, Cactus Club, 1994. 

Bangin' in Belgium - Shockwave Video Review

NOTE: I wrote up this review initially in 1996 (!) when I rented this vid from Palo Alto's (now MV's) Videoscope. I figured I'd unearth this since it might be of interest to yas.

 Shockwave was a one shot Heavy Metal festival in 1985 put together by the owners of the underground Belgian label, Mausoleum (who used the similar logo as the 1983 horror film). The organizers wanted to film the bands live but ran into a connundrum - this is underground Heavy Metal on small indie labels but we could at least get coverage from the Metal fanzines like Metal Hammer (which was then only available in German), Aardshok - or better yet, Kerrang or Metal Forces. MTV's not going to touch this with a 50 foot pole. So they decided to do it themselves and the results are well...read on. "Shockwave" was also the title of a rather good Beligan band o' Motörbangers called Killer. The cover to Killer's Shockwave" always reminded me of the movie poster of The Keep.

Since many bands were starting to release videos, the label saw it fit to not just focus on one band (and really didn't Mausoleum have 40+ bands signed by mid-1985?!?) and showcase many a metaller from Belgium, Germany, the UK, and 1 act from the USA.

Belgium's Lion's Pride - have a couple of OK but very standard riffs the vocals are in that mid-range of rough but sort of melodic sound like say, Loudness or a early 80's metal version of the guy from Agony Column. A little bland overall but sometimes interesting. I do remember seening their LP in the Record Factory in Dublin, CA sitting on the shelf for close to a year. They even put the damn thing on an end cap - thinking "somebody's GOT to buy this..." This isn't from Shockwave but this is from the same-era.

Polish bangers T.S.A. (T.S.A. stands for "Tajne Stowarzyszenie Abstynentów", which means "Teetotallers Secret Association") are up next. They were the first Polish band to make it outside their counties borders. (Turbo and Wilczy Pająk (aka: Wolf Spider) were only known by a few tape traders. Some goes for Vader who didn't take off 'til 5-6 years later). As of 2010 these guys were still playing shows (or at least some form of them). Their singer looks like Rudy Schenker of the Scorps. On a similar German metal tip, their 2nd tune on the video "Race Machine Hero" is a nice, tight speedy number that sounds right off of Accept's "Restless & Wild". Even rougher vocals than Udo. oh and, never mind the lame drum machine intro/outros.

Alaska's 2 songs are really 2 songs too many. This is the unholy equation of: Bon Jovi + John Waite (the guy mostly know for that P. Diddy sampled on "Missing You") + Tesla = puuuuke! The only "significance" this band had was Mel Galley, Bernie Marsden and Don Airey played in the early, slightly listenable version of Whitesnake. Although, Airey at least played on much better records with Ozzy and Colosseum II. Regardless of their rock resumes this is pure pomp rock hell.

Belgium's own Crossfire laydown a couple of good numbers. The Metallion site puts it aptly: "The band's music is a mix of NWOBHM, Quiet Riot and AC/DC and is nowhere near as thrashy as one would expect...Fans of everything from NWOBHM to boogie metal to Motorhead may find something here, while others may be disappointed by the lack of distinctiveness or creativity." Although supsrisingly they make all of these things work. Also, they had a song called "Killing A Cop" which granted wasn't as threatening as M.D.C. or Ice-T to "the man" but still - Belgian cops were (and probably still are) dicks to metalheads & punks. As Ali "TheMetalion" writes (again from The Metalion). And yes, they have silly mustaches and spandex but at least they did it then when that was pretty normal.  Besides, Mantas' Beligan doppelgänger is on left guitar. (Not sure if which of excellently named 6-stringers this is: Nero Neerinckx or  Rudy Van de Sype). This tune may or may not be from "Shockwaves" but it filled with some raw imagery & a rather rippin' tune'. 

Germany's Faithful Breath make some vague hard rock/sometimes Metal sound with this collision of Raven/Accept and Nazereth. All of this is odd since they started in the early 70's as a prog band! Plus, they all wear furs and the vocalist has a generic but nice viking helmet (Note: real vikings DIDN'T wear horned helmets but still they do look pretty rad if you're in a German metal band in the 80's). This isn't from "Shockwave' but it was a great song from them the exudes tough & true 80's power metal. The visuals are super-discount video but I admire bands when they just do these cheap-ass videos with the intent to just have fun and rock out. Who needs some "conceptual video" like Queensryche when you can kick ass on a viking boat made of Legos on a lake? Even the ever fading color of the video gives it that extra charm. How I love my "discount metal".

McCoy (featuring John McCoy from Gillan and Mammoth) are pretty awful. There's no clip of their footage but when you can imagine how half-assed they are with lyrics like ones here (OK, the riffs in here are good but maaaan!). Often their tempos trudge like a turtle on downers then they throw in dull "bluesy" tempos and there was some "biker mama" type in band that just made it weird and lame.

Next up with "On the Attack" is New York's Blacklace. Maryann Scandiffio's vocals here clumsy sort of like a off the mark Halford. The riffs are OK but the song's overall is a chock-a-block with dull cliches. bit above passable, the riffs are good & tight. Yet the solos and overall structure are pretty generic. Guitarist Carlo Fragnito's Eddie Van Halen-ish hot doggin' on the fretboard is no help either. The next tune this tune's in someway isn't too far from Christian Mistress. Visually there's an excess of stripes, fringe and lace aren't exactly making them standout in Circa: 1984 HM. Although, they do a bit better on the next tune "Call of the Wild" but that's due to their answering the question "What if Krokus circa: Headhunter had a female singer and sorta sounded like a Christian Mistress outtake?"

Lastly and not live at all is Venom's videos for "Witching Hour" and "Bloodlust". These are more like "performance" videos. Especially considering the massive amount of guitar wailing during "Witching Hour" which show Mantas not even holding his guitar! Still, these are 2 pretty potent versions of two of their early 80's classics. If you want to experience these songs in full - go check out the 1996 reunion show at Dynamo or their '85 "Hell At Hammersmith" video.

Endnotes: Zoinks! After writing all this I found someone's done an entire blog for this videotape! Let me introduce you to your new friend, Shockwave Heavy Metal Blogspot. 

Some old rants against bad music writing

AKA: The Metro’s Fails and Bad!

Flipping through the kitty litter liner alt-weekly Silcon’s Valley Metro in recent weeks has been more than enough to rile my music geek status. Buried among the random articles about random “cool stuff” in the nowheresville ‘burg of Morgan Hill and ads for the ultra lounge pestilence was some music blurbs. Keep in mind the Metro has had a horrible record of supporting good, local music. When Sleep, Neurosis and the Melvins were playing shows they got not next to no coverage. Whereas if one of ex-pro skater Steve Cabellero’s shitty bands had a show at the Cactus Club then there would be at least several paragraphs. (Same went for the equally awful "scene mag" City Revolt). Funny how that one turned out. No one’s ever listed Shovelhead or Soda as an influence.

Some emo-indie nerd in the August 27th-September 2 edition wrote about the upcoming Metal Masters Tour by referencing nothing abot the music. Here’s the blurb in full

http://www.metroactive.com/metro/08.27.08/music-picks-0835.html

“Metal Masters Tour
WHILE THE LEGACY of Judas Priest certainly extends beyond Ron Halford's coming out of the closet, the synthesizing punk rocker known as Atom and His Package immortalized the significance of that event in a song called "Hats off to Halford." "When Rob Halford came out of the closet, it may not have been a big thing," sings Package, "Well, today we're one step closer to hearing the metal dudes sing, 'I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.'" Join Judas Priest for their "Metal Masters Tour," which also includes Heaven and Hell, Motorhead and Testament.”

Oh, Halford is gay is old REAL old news but this is still annoying as fuck. “While the legacy...extends beyond coming out of the closet...” then is goes into referencing the not-metal at all 90’s blip on the map, Atom And His Package and even throws in a reference to Sloppy Seconds (by changing the words of their “I Don’t Wanna Be A Homosexual” to “I Wanna”). Oh, yeah never mind Judas Priest helped define Heavy Metal throughout the late 70’s & into the 80’s. Or never mind that they’re playing with Atom’s moment in the indie rock/college radio sun was amusing for a short spell but really does anyone save this Metro writer, go back, listen and talk about how stands the test of time?

Secondly and equally dumb was this jab at Cheap Trick.

“Over the years since Perry's departure, Journey has had a slew of temporary lead singers, but in 2007 the group made headlines for choosing Philippines native Arnel Pineda after guitarist Neal Schon saw videos on YouTube of Pineda performing covers of Journey songs. Pineda's spark onstage has reignited Journey's fire, and the group is performing with more dynamism than fans have seen since the Perry years. Sister act Heart and '80s hair band Cheap Trick open. (CY)"

80s? Hair Band? Seriously? First off all this easily could’ve been fixed with a simple search on AMG, Discogs or even Wikipedia. Cheap Trick’s first album came out in 1977 and they continued making some of the best hard rockin’ power pop of the latter half of that decade. Around 1982 they started sucking with too many “yes men” and guest producers around them (George Martin being one of them).

If anything Cheap Trick’s "hard rock vs. pop" stuff formula worked for them and only was a curory influence on bubble gum/big hair bands of the 80’s. The only one that took maybe a direct influence from C.T. Was probably fellow Illnoisians (Illinoisers?), Enfu Z’ Nuff. ‘The Trick’s music was featured in a variety of movies that have a cult following: Meatballs, Heavy Metal, and the ultra-awesome “Over The Edge”. Lest, we forget that they did the theme song to the otherwise, crappy sitcom, “That 70’s Show” because they were a band from the 70’s! Cheap Trick wasn’t a friggin’ ‘hair band’. Besides, what “80’s hair band” has ever done a theme song to "The Colbert Report" much less had an official day? http://www.cheaptrickday.com/