Sunday, February 12, 2012

Some old rants against bad music writing

AKA: The Metro’s Fails and Bad!

Flipping through the kitty litter liner alt-weekly Silcon’s Valley Metro in recent weeks has been more than enough to rile my music geek status. Buried among the random articles about random “cool stuff” in the nowheresville ‘burg of Morgan Hill and ads for the ultra lounge pestilence was some music blurbs. Keep in mind the Metro has had a horrible record of supporting good, local music. When Sleep, Neurosis and the Melvins were playing shows they got not next to no coverage. Whereas if one of ex-pro skater Steve Cabellero’s shitty bands had a show at the Cactus Club then there would be at least several paragraphs. (Same went for the equally awful "scene mag" City Revolt). Funny how that one turned out. No one’s ever listed Shovelhead or Soda as an influence.

Some emo-indie nerd in the August 27th-September 2 edition wrote about the upcoming Metal Masters Tour by referencing nothing abot the music. Here’s the blurb in full

“Metal Masters Tour
WHILE THE LEGACY of Judas Priest certainly extends beyond Ron Halford's coming out of the closet, the synthesizing punk rocker known as Atom and His Package immortalized the significance of that event in a song called "Hats off to Halford." "When Rob Halford came out of the closet, it may not have been a big thing," sings Package, "Well, today we're one step closer to hearing the metal dudes sing, 'I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual.'" Join Judas Priest for their "Metal Masters Tour," which also includes Heaven and Hell, Motorhead and Testament.”

Oh, Halford is gay is old REAL old news but this is still annoying as fuck. “While the legacy...extends beyond coming out of the closet...” then is goes into referencing the not-metal at all 90’s blip on the map, Atom And His Package and even throws in a reference to Sloppy Seconds (by changing the words of their “I Don’t Wanna Be A Homosexual” to “I Wanna”). Oh, yeah never mind Judas Priest helped define Heavy Metal throughout the late 70’s & into the 80’s. Or never mind that they’re playing with Atom’s moment in the indie rock/college radio sun was amusing for a short spell but really does anyone save this Metro writer, go back, listen and talk about how stands the test of time?

Secondly and equally dumb was this jab at Cheap Trick.

“Over the years since Perry's departure, Journey has had a slew of temporary lead singers, but in 2007 the group made headlines for choosing Philippines native Arnel Pineda after guitarist Neal Schon saw videos on YouTube of Pineda performing covers of Journey songs. Pineda's spark onstage has reignited Journey's fire, and the group is performing with more dynamism than fans have seen since the Perry years. Sister act Heart and '80s hair band Cheap Trick open. (CY)"

80s? Hair Band? Seriously? First off all this easily could’ve been fixed with a simple search on AMG, Discogs or even Wikipedia. Cheap Trick’s first album came out in 1977 and they continued making some of the best hard rockin’ power pop of the latter half of that decade. Around 1982 they started sucking with too many “yes men” and guest producers around them (George Martin being one of them).

If anything Cheap Trick’s "hard rock vs. pop" stuff formula worked for them and only was a curory influence on bubble gum/big hair bands of the 80’s. The only one that took maybe a direct influence from C.T. Was probably fellow Illnoisians (Illinoisers?), Enfu Z’ Nuff. ‘The Trick’s music was featured in a variety of movies that have a cult following: Meatballs, Heavy Metal, and the ultra-awesome “Over The Edge”. Lest, we forget that they did the theme song to the otherwise, crappy sitcom, “That 70’s Show” because they were a band from the 70’s! Cheap Trick wasn’t a friggin’ ‘hair band’. Besides, what “80’s hair band” has ever done a theme song to "The Colbert Report" much less had an official day?

No comments: